Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Please Get Proactive...

Learn more about his story in “The Bully Effect” on Feb. 28 at 10 p.m. ET: http://on.cnn.com/YxUTCJ 



This video brought back so many memories and the flood gates opened up wide for me. When I started junior high 7th grade I was a target from the start. Everyday i had to worry what would be coming for me next a slap,push,kick or shove... I was even tortured in front of the school office backed against the wall. It was 5 girls... the preppys you know the ones that lead the life of privilege.. yeah you know who I mean. I was failing all through junior high my grades were f's and d's. I feared for myself everyday and I only had 2 friends but they never came to my rescue. Every year 8th and 9th it just kept going. I was raised by my grandparents and so you can imagine I didn't have the best clothing I mean don't get me wrong I had new clothes but of the polyester persuasion... My shoes were velcro tracks from Kmart. I was an odd person in some peoples eyes I was not allowed to spend the night at peoples houses not that I was ever invited. My only outlet was roller skating at Rainbow Roller Rink in Grand Junction Colorado. My grandparents took me skating every Saturday for a double session 4 glorious hours of nonstop music and fun, sometimes I got to go on Friday nights or Sunday afternoon. Skating was the only place these mean girls didn't go. I attended dances but not many. Before I knew it junior high became a past nightmare and I was on to my sophomore year of high school. My grandfather took me school shopping this time and he allowed me to get some instyle clothing but nothing that could expose my middle... lol I was very modest. So I felt great starting high school I thought it would be a new experience and at first it was. One day I was bent down trying to get something out of my locker between classes and before I knew it I was kicked and shoved into my locker and when I stood up and turned around to my suprise there were two girls I didn't even know pushing me again inside my locker... Thus the high school nightmare begins. I was scared and alone and they were juniors... Math sucked because they were in my class and then they even had a guy join in the fun. This new set of girls got my phone number out of the phonebook and started screwing with me even at home. They had the guy call and pretend he was interested in me and the next day after talking to him I got screwed with harder. One day after school I was crossing the parking lot and I nearly was ran over by a huge black truck and guess who was driving?!!! the head leader of my new bullies. I went home and told my grandma who told my grandpa and the next day my grandparents called the school and threatened a lawyer and lawsuit. Even though the torture slowed down it didn't stop. I ended up leaving high school 3 months into my 10th grade year. I know how this feels and I know the desperation of wanting to disappear. You will find this a bit amusing my junior high ring leader bully is on my facebook page I sent her an invite and she accepted but has never talked to me, she is a proclaimed Christian now... I don't honestly know if she remembers the torture she put me through and the torment it caused me... She probably don't know it has followed me my whole life and i allow myself to bullied on jobs and other areas of my life because I never could stand up for myself out of fear. I have rejection issues because of it. Now when I see kids fighting or looking like they are pushing somebody around i will stop my truck and get out so I can scream at the bully and tell them to leave the other kid the hell alone before I step in. I have thought about private messaging this girl on my facebook and telling her how her behavior affected and still affects my life today but something tells me she would care less or delete me... I guess in my heart I would love to meet her for lunch and have her say sorry to me for all the heartache and nightmares of killing myself she caused me..... but would it really do any good now?. I have watched my own children be bullied But the difference is I got right on top of the principals desk and demanded and threatened to get it to stop. My son was always a runt very intellegent and tested he is actually gifted so he was always a target he has been depants in class his lunch spit on kicked and slammed into fences and so on even beat up on the school bus by girls. Like I said he WAS a runt he is NOW 6'4" my how things change lol. I raised my son well he don't like to fight he always told me from a young age words are power not fist. So that is my rant I would ask all of you to get proactive this bullying crap is a shame and leads to the ruins of lives. Hope you all have a beautiful day and remember to just smile at somebody it makes the difference. God Bless love you all..........

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