Saturday, August 27, 2011

I lost my direction

When I moved to Colorado my dream was to buy some land and build something to live in cheaply or heck even pitch a tent. All I want is self reliance, but I have lost my direction I'm not sure what to do or where to go. After living here for a little over a year now it just doesn't seem like home. I'm still feeling lost now wondering if we made the right choice. I'm feeling a bit discouraged because every time we get up something pulls us back down. My car was in the shop last week it cost $994.00 to fix it but I was able to get them down to $843.00. It was my daughters 25th birthday on the 19th so we went to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack it wasn't what we thought it would be at $174.00 later :( maybe I'm just not happy right now I mean I guess I'm entitled to feel down in the dumps right?. We are paying all the bills as our kids jobs are not giving them any good hours and yet we are still reaping the disrespect from the kids... I don't get it! I can't throw them in the street because they will never make it and yet me and hubby have tried to reason,yell,scream and nothing works. In a perfect world I would win the power ball lottery tonight buy my land build a house and live happily ever after, but we all know this is no perfect world. I need to refocus myself and get a grip.
Thanks for listening. God Bless you all...........

1 comment:

Modern Day Redneck said...

Sorry to hear about your downness. If your kids are old enough, instead of throwing in the street get a cheap camper and put it behind the house, run an power cord to it and tell them to call it home. At least you know they are safe and you get your house back. That is just my redneck way of looking at it.
As far as your home feeling like a home, When I moved off the farm five years ago I have not had that home feeling. I finally changed my mind on what a home really is and it helped me. I finally decided that a house is a house but where ever my wife and kids are is my home. Even if it is in a van down by the river as long as they were there, it is home.
I hope things start looking up for ya.