I lost my direction

When I moved to Colorado my dream was to buy some land and build something to live in cheaply or heck even pitch a tent. All I want is self reliance, but I have lost my direction I'm not sure what to do or where to go. After living here for a little over a year now it just doesn't seem like home. I'm still feeling lost now wondering if we made the right choice. I'm feeling a bit discouraged because every time we get up something pulls us back down. My car was in the shop last week it cost $994.00 to fix it but I was able to get them down to $843.00. It was my daughters 25th birthday on the 19th so we went to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack it wasn't what we thought it would be at $174.00 later :( maybe I'm just not happy right now I mean I guess I'm entitled to feel down in the dumps right?. We are paying all the bills as our kids jobs are not giving them any good hours and yet we are still reaping the disrespect from the kids... I don't get it! I can't throw them in the street because they will never make it and yet me and hubby have tried to reason,yell,scream and nothing works. In a perfect world I would win the power ball lottery tonight buy my land build a house and live happily ever after, but we all know this is no perfect world. I need to refocus myself and get a grip.

Thanks for listening. God Bless you all...........

Life as we know it today...

So I have been reading a few blogs and have discovered there are a lot of depressed people out there. People are really not that different from one another, some just choose to voice how they feel. We all have the same concerns and fears about what is going on with our world today. This very day even though I have been following the news, I realized the Dow is down over 2000 points in the last 14 trading days WOW!. I don't have a 401k and I was thinking about starting one but now seeing what is happening not only in America but foreign countries I will not do it. Many people are just concerned about keeping their families fed, putting food on the table and who can blame them. The jobs are just not there right now and I know a lot of you will disagree with that statement but it is true! if there were so many jobs then don't you think people would choose to work for minimum wage rather then watch their families starve?. I have really been following the news a lot lately because I don't want to put my family in harms way so i have decided to stock up on everything I can!!! I'm not gonna be one who heard about it but brushed it off and then not be able to feed my family or keep some kind of shelter over their heads. So at this point we are hoping for the best but preparing for the worst because there are no guarantees in life. I'm gonna start doing some raw food and natural remedies, I want to start experiencing with a few things. Now don't get what I'm saying wrong I'm not an extremist I am still buying for the holidays and leading a normal life but I'm gonna be smart about everything now. I did find a place to get 20 pounds of potatoes for $6.40 instead of the $5.00 I was paying for 10 pounds :) Everybody have a blessed day and think smart.

Happy Saturday

Well another week gone by... I am planning to work in my craft room today I'm still working on getting that craft closet together. A trip to Hobby Lobby today I may pick up alittle something.

So Many Things...

You know I wanted to blog, but so many things are going around in my head that I am not sure what to say. The Arizona shooting has been on my mind since yesterday it doens't make any kind of sense to me I just keep going back to that 9 yr. old little girls face. I am also thinking about how I will get my family through another tough year since that has been predicted. Gas is up here in Colorado Springs it went from 2.69 a gallon to 2.85 and is sure to rise even more. My husband is getting alittle bit of over time at his job, so I'm gonna try to pay off some behind bills and help my daughter pay off her credit cards.

I'm hoping this year will bring some change in my family as far as being more responsible I want my children to be more thankful for what they have. My 19 yr. old is working for a contract companie for verizon so she is the customer service rep you would talk to when calling in about your bill or plan, she is making $ 11.00 hr. and she gets about 5-8 hours of overtime a week so thats good money for a 19 yr. old who lives at home with no bills, she already wants to quit because it is stressing her out she doesnt like talking on the phone... give me a break!!!. She would rather go back to pizza hut for about $ 400 a month does it make any sense to you?. I'm not sure what changes I will be making this year but we have to save money, I really want a peice of land.

Seasons greetings...

Its that time of year again... Fall is bring in the cool crisp air the leaves on my trees are turning and starting to fall off. Everyday there is a gentle whispering wind oh boy I'm loving it so much. I have begun to decorate my home with all my Fall goodies and my wonderful smelling candles are on the burners my home is smelling so delicious with the warm pumpkin spice and vanilla. This time of year brings me such joy because its a time to reflect on being thankful and love and joy, the spirit of giving to one another. I am gonna take some pictures of my home as soon as my Den is finished, we are actually in the middle of changing our flooring out from carpet to wood or tile flooring we havent decided yet but I did take the carpet off one set of our stairs going up to some bedrooms and found a pretty wood floor under that carpet. Things seem to be good right now for us at the Poorman residence. God Bless you all my friends.

Good-Byes Are Never Easy...

So we finally made it to Colorado... what a relief. We went through alot before leaving with my husbands car accident, then he was hospitalize in April for 3 days and then the death of our beloved 1 year old Gunner he was a great dog but he got a peice of rawhide bone stuck in his intestant, it killed him with in a day and a half... So many things went wrong we didn't have enough room on the 26ft uhal to take everything so we made the trip and then went back to Arizona to get more stuff a day later with our truck and trailer when we got there somebody had robbed our garage and took alot of stuff I wanted... :( like I said it has been a journey.
My husband is just now going back to work after having 2 1/2 months off. My emotions have been running high and then low I feel like maybe I'm having some depression... I have been so use to drama on a daily basis that being in Colorado with no drama is a shock to my system, I mean how do you ajust from a high strung life to normalcy?. I'm happy to be home in Colorado yet at the same time I'm sad and I don't understand why? I left some friends, my husband left a great job, my kids left school and jobs and their friends,,, its hard to say good bye. I'm hoping for a bright future for my children and me and hubby of course, we will see what tomorrow brings.
God Bless you all...

Update

Well I have been so busy lately, I'm packing up my house and getting ready for the big move to Colorado Springs Colorado. We are leaving June 1st. This move will be bitter sweet for my family because I'm giving the house that my grandparents have back to the bank we just can't sell it with the economy. This was the last house they bought before they died and its the home that I took care of them in, it has many memories and it breaks my heart to say goodbye I just have no choice. So there will be no inheritance at least money wise but we have received so much.
I wont cry a river when I leave but more like an ocean and so will my kids may God just keep his hand on us.
I'm gonna be posting my recipe for green pork chili and beans with semi homemade tortillas.
God Bless You